Enjoy Easter: A King’s Resurrection – the roar of Easter over culture

I ador friendship. Let me tell you how hard it is to sustain friendship under stress.  I love Sashta’a angle on FriendshiP;

Today is National Best Friend Day: How to Make a BFF

Today, June 8, is National Best Friend Day.

The easy thing to do would be to write a posting on the glories and joys of a BFF.  But, I figure most of us have a sense of how good it feels when we have that best friend… the bigger trick is how to get it if we don’t currently have it.

I Want a Best Friend, a BFF

When most of us start craving more friendship– it’s usually for that idealistic friendship. We want the women who see us, know us and love us.  We want that relationship that is comfortable, known, and easy.

Unfortunately, we can’t just go out and find that BFF because she doesn’t exist. At least not yet. A best friend has to be developed, not discovered. Meaningful friendships simply don’t exist before we put in the time to create them.

This one little misguided expectation is what seems to throw off the best of us.

When members in the GirlFriendCircles.com community get frustrated, it is typically around the gap in expectations between what we want and what we find.  Meaning, we want deep friendships that are comfortable and require little energy, but what we find are strangers that require us getting to know each other. And so we are tempted to give up.  We sigh in defeat that we aren’t meeting our best friends.

How to Make a Best Friend

Best friends are made up of two non-negotiable ingredients, I think.

Undoubtedly, there are a thousand definitions/preferences/nuances… such as if you think your BFF needs to be just like you, have a certain temperament, share specific interests, live in a defined proximity, or have proven herself to you by any number of tests. All things that can increase chemistry and connectedness, for sure!

But for every rule, there is evidence of the opposite being true, too.  Indeed, when most of us start a friendship we, not surprisingly, want that person to be at our same life stage and be as similar to us as possible.  And yet, as BFF’s survive history and time together, it’s amazing how different our paths can become, proving that friendship isn’t dependent on that which we thought brought us together.  Which then makes BFF’s this elusive creature where we’re never quite sure what fosters the relationships we most crave. So we walk away from many amazing women because we’re not sure how to get from meeting people to making friends, from here-to-there. If it wasn’t instant, we doubt the potential.

The Frientimacy Triangle

So, today, on National BFF Day I wanted to blog for a moment on what I call the Frientimacy Triangle. I’ve modified it from various marriage workshops to be used for friendship purposes.

Shastas Frientimacy Triangle

In a nutshell, we all start at the base of the triangle with every person we meet.  And if a healthy committed relationship is what we desire, then we must move up the triangle by both increasing commitment and intimacy at the same rate. An increase on one side of the triangle begs to be matched by the other side.

As our platonic intimacy (defined, in part, by our ability to be vulnerable, and our giving/receiving of affection) grows, so should our commitment to that person.  And vice versa, as our commitment (defined, in part, by our level of engagement and willingness to protect the relationship) grows, so should our intimacy. Should we accelerate one too fast our triangle becomes lopsided and falls, not reaching the pinnacle.

A BFF then, should be a person we feel committed to and honest with. Which theoretically could take months and years.  For none of us should be walking around committing ourselves to strangers, no matter how charming, fun and engaging they are.  No matter if we perceive them to be our twin.

Commitment has to be raised inch-by-inch up the triangle. The highest level of commitment I can make to someone is “I will stay in touch with you and be a close friend no matter what.” And I don’t make that lightly.  For I know that as life changes– divorces, moves, babies, our kids fighting, retirement– that many of my friendships lower on the triangle won’t make the transition.  That doesn’t make them less important or devalue what they offer for the time we share.  But it’s not realistic that I will stay in touch with every person I meet and like.  It’s a commitment that is grown.   Commitment is earned, as is the trust that will invite us to be vulnerable.

So neither should we walk around vomiting our emotional stories on new friends. Many women make the mistake of thinking that just because they share something deep and raw that these two people should now feel super close.  Unfortunately, if the commitment is not yet there, the relationship can actually feel quite awkward and shaky, holding too much emotion, too early.


(Note: Here’s an old blog she wrote on Friend-timacy– highlighting how important commitment is when you increase the vulnerability.)




A King’s Resurrection – the roar of Easter over culture.


And: http://olgalazin.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/dr-olga-magdalena-lazin-andreis-blog-on-chemical-balance-in-your-brain-body-importanta-oxitocinei-give-us-our-daily-oxytocin-httpwww-pinterest-compin206321226653440276/

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NATIONAL RECOVERY MOVEMENT: Alcohol Awareness Month, Join US


THE ANONYMOUS PEOPLE is a feature documentary film about the over 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs.

Quote: The Brain and the Secondhand Drinking Connection

We can now answer the kinds of “why” questions posed in this previous post thanks to new imaging technologies of the recent 15-20 years, such as fMRI (shows where the brain activity is occurring) and SPECT (shows the health of the brain).
These imaging technologies allow neuroscientists and medical professionals to study the human brain. They can see the changes it goes through as it develops. They can see the impacts of mental illness, head trauma or repeated alcohol misuse and so much more.
Learning the basics of how the brain controls everything a person thinks, feels, says and does helps explain the causes and impacts of SHD. It also helps you develop self-protection and prevention skills.
The Brain’s Communication System
When you understand how the brain goes together, you can appreciate what causes it to come apart and what it takes to fix it.
Neural Networks – How Cells Talk to One Another
The brain controls everything through neural networks. Neural networks are the way brain cells (neurons) talk to one another. They, in turn, exchange information with other neurons throughout the body via the nervous system.
This “talking” is done through an electrical-chemical signaling process. This is easier to understand if you think of neural networks as strands of holiday lights. Anything that happens along a strand of holiday lights – a loose bulb, frayed wire, power surge – changes how that strand works. This in turn changes how all other strands connected to it work.
The following is a simplified description of the basics of a neural network, which is illustrated in the image below. Remember anything that changes any one of these “things” will change the way the neural network performs (like a strand of holiday lights). If you change the way neural networks perform, you change behaviors.

Basics of a Neural Network
• Cue or Trigger (a sound, sight, touch, smell, memory, emotion…something that triggers the electrical signaling to start the neural network)
• Brain cells (neurons)
• Branchlike extensions (outgoing and incoming)
• Neurotransmitter (chemical messengers located at the end of the outgoing branchlike extensions that change the neuron’s electrical signal into chemical that can float across the synapse; other neurotransmitters help with the start and stop of the signaling)
• Synapse (the gap between the branchlike extensions of a brain cell/neuron)
• Receptors (at the end of the incoming branchlike extension that accept the neurotransmitter – like a “key in a door lock” – andchange it back into an electrical signal to carry on the message to the receiving brain cell/neuron)
Brain Maps for the Things We Do;

Through a series of connections, neural networks form systems between the brain and other organs to control our body’s major functions.
This includes the fight-or-flight stress response system, for example, as well as the circulatory and digestive systems. Neural networks also work together to form embedded “brain maps.” There is an expression to describe this brain mapping process, “neurons that fire together, wire together.”
Embedded brain maps take very little, if any, thought. They just happen. And thank goodness they do. If we did not have these embedded brain maps, we would still be trying to get out of bed because the millions of neuron connections needed to do that simple function would take forever to hook together. [This also points to the difficulty in changing brain maps (basically habits).]

Over the course of our lives, we create brain maps for all of the functions our bodies and brains do on a regular basis. We create brain maps for riding a bike or typing on a computer or talking on the phone or reading a book or running, breathing, reciting multiplication tables, eating, talking with our hands, playing an instrument, texting—just think about it!
Basically, then, brain maps are habits, coping skills, life skills and typical behaviors.
Where in the Brain Are You

Science groups neural network activity into three main areas in the brain – as shown in the image above.
There are three general groups of neural network activity, sometimes called sub-brains.
They are the cerebellum, the limbic system and the cerebral cortex. This means neural network activity in these three areas is responsible for the behaviors described in the image to the right.
And this is important. Why? Because it explains that if your neural networks are controlling your behaviors from the limbic system, for example, you are not “thinking,” you are “reacting.”
And why is this important to know? Because the limbic system is where neural networks involved with drinking behaviors and SHD-related stress get triggered (cued). And the brain pays close attention to things that happen in the limbic system. This is because the behaviors controlled by neural networks in the limbic system were (and are) critical to the survival of the human species. (More on this in the next post.)
Wiring Brain Maps
We are born with about 100 billion brain cells (aka neurons), but only a small number of them are “wired” at birth. This makes sense when you think about it. If all of our neural networks were wired at birth, we would come out doing what we do as adults. But about all a baby’s neural networks do is allow it to breathe, eat, sleep, cry, smile and dirty their diapers. Thus, from birth, our brains are wiring neural networks like crazy because we need them for everything we think, feel, say and do. (Please know the brain is also wiring en utero, which is why women should avoid drinking while pregnant.)
First Decade
In the first decade of life, the brain wires trillions of neural networks. This is why key risk factors, such as childhood trauma (verbal, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, bullying, SHD-related stress), mental illness (anxiety, depression, ADHD) and social environment have such a big influence on the developing brain and a child’s behaviors. Genetics is another significant influence. So are a child’s own thoughts and behaviors and lack of cerebral cortex wiring (explained shortly).

Then Comes Puberty
The above describes neural network wiring for the first decade or so, but then comes puberty. Puberty is an instinctual wiring process (meaning it is built into the human species). It causes lots of neural network wiring activity–especially in the limbic system (the reactionary, not thinking, part of the brain).
The purpose of puberty-related brain wiring is to cause the species to turn to its peers and take risks. It is also to take care of the obvious–-hormonal changes and adult-like bodies capable of reproducing. These three instinctual drives (take risks, turn to peers and reproduce) were critical to the survival of the human species back in the day when mankind had a much shorter lifespan (meaning mom and dad might very likely have been dead around the time a young person was going through puberty so they weren’t around to protect them). Today, however, these instinctual drives can be a bit of a problem because we live much longer, more complex lives. .
And Finally, the “Thinking” Part of the Brain
Here’s where the problem comes in. There is about a four-year lag time between the start of puberty and the start of the last stage of brain development—wiring in the cerebral cortex. As described in the 3-brain map image above, the cerebral cortex is responsible for sound reasoning, good judgment and weighing the consequences of one’s actions. It is also the brakes on the risk taking behaviors that start with puberty. And it is when the brain starts to “prune” neural networks not used much and “strengthen” those that are. This pruning and strengthening process is designed to make the brain more efficient.

Dr. Paul Thompson’s 10-year time lapse study of brain development ages 5-20 show just how much wiring – brain maturity – occurs from approximately ages 16-20. It’s now understood this maturity process continues until roughly age 25.
Back in the day, life decisions were pretty simple. Basically it was about gathering food, finding shelter, reproducing and surviving. Today, our lives are far more complicated and much longer. This means the consequences of the mistakes we make and the brain mapping we set into place as teens can last for a very long lifetime (unless we take steps to correct or fix them, of course).
Why Ages 16-25 Matter So Much or Why Wait Till 21 to Drink
While wiring in the cerebral cortex starts around age 16, it takes until around age 22 for girls and age 24 for boys to complete. The darker colors in brain time-lapse study image show us just how much brain development is happening.
This lag time between the start of puberty and the start of the cerebral cortex wiring helps explain why teens make poor “decisions.” It also explains why “Just Say, ‘No,’” typically doesn’t work and why teen brains handle alcohol and SHD-related stress (explained in the next post) differently than adult brains.
Lastly, it helps us understand that the neural networks strengthened become our embedded brain maps for many of our adult-like coping skills and behaviors. These can include drinking behaviors and unhealthy ways of coping with SHD.

Raising awareness about both sides of the drinking equation – drinking behaviors and secondhand drinking.
No One Sets Out To Cause Secondhand Drinking And No One Sets Out To Cope With It In Harmful Ways
This science and this common term can help those causing and those coping learn what it takes to change. Visit again next week to read more about this science in Part 4 of my Alcohol Awareness Month 2014 celebration!
©2014 Lisa Frederiksen – the above article shares portions from two upcoming books of mine. One is a book titled, Secondhand Drinking in Our Workplaces, Schools, Families and Communities. The other is a very abbreviated version (from which this piece is taken) for a QuickSeries guide, titled, Secondhand Drinking: Prevention and Protection, to be published later this year for use by Army, Navy, Veterans, DOD, Forest Service and similar groups.
If you have questions or would like to talk further about secondhand drinking or my SHD consulting, training and presentation services for individuals, families and businesses, please give me a call at 650-362-3026 or email me at lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com

MANY FACES1voice.org
We are moms and dads, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters – all bringing the power and proof of recovery to our communities. Together we will change public perception, and ultimately the public response to the addiction crisis…FOREVER. Will you join us?
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Give back. Save others. Become a face & voice for change.

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Dr LAZIN in Prague


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Avoid Addictions of All Type

Avoid Addictions of All Type.





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Master’s & PhD Career Conference * Registration Deadline: Friday, April 25 * Thursday, May 1, 2014, 9am-6pm, Ackerman Student Union

From: Dr Olga M. Lazin Andrei <olazin>
Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 10:32 PM
INVITATION TO Master’s & PhD Career Conference * Registration Deadline: Friday, April 25 * Thursday, May 1, 2014, 9am-6pm, Ackerman Student Union
To: OLGA LAZIN <olgalazin>
Cc: therealheatherclay

Hugs, from Olga


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CoPromote.com – Join This Co-Promotion Program Entreprenuer

How lovely: http://olgalazin.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/avoid-addictions-of-all-type/


CoPromote.com – Your Promotion Has Been Created.

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Avoid Addictions of All Type

Avoid Addictions of All Type.


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The Nutritional Component Missing In High Gain Project, in Santa Monica



AA is only one approach to alcohol addiction, but AA is incomplete and varies from group to group. This approach is totally wrong, as it insistes that people are alcoholics forever, which is not true.

 The nutritional method seeks to restore the and maintain the chemical

electical balance (in the body and brain) upset drinking alcohol. Even a thimble

of alcohol ( 10 drops) will cause the alcoholic to relapse.


In short, the nutritional method means dropping sugar from the diet

(sugar is the base addiction for the alcohol addition) and shifting from

carbs (also full of sugar) to a high-protein diet, vegetable/fruit diet.


Most important are adding to the diet vitamins and minerals, which have been

depleted by alcohol, this causing body & mind stresses):


Immediately put & keep addict on the following daily:

   DO NOT TAKE any product to which you may be allergic

Start with PQQ, buy at Lifeextension.com for energy.

L-Glutamine 1500 (MRM brand, 1 capsule has 1,500 mg) take 1-2 capsules
    3 times daily to calm the mind and body, take with or without food,
    defeat cravings

Vit B1 (eg fromVit Shoppe, 500 mg 2 at breakfast)

Vit B5 (Pantathene by NOW Foods, 600 mg at breakfast 600 mg lun or din),

Vit B6 Country Life brand at Vit Shoppe, 1 pill (200 mg weekdays, 2 pills on


B12 (sublingual) 5 grams (500 mg) several time daily

Folic Acid (800 mg with food)

Vit B-100 Complex, 1 capsule has all Bs (but with only 100 mg each)

    to assure integrated coverage, preferably without folic acid which

    is already taken above), take with with food


L-Theanine (To enhance the effect of pills above and below)

    vs URGENT stress, nervous, worry, cravings for sugar & alcohol 

    (Suntheanine is the type, 200 mg each capsule at breakfast, lun, din, bed

     and anytime cravings are strong),  


Grape Seed Extract, 1 or 2 capsules daily

Vitamin C 1000 mg with food (vit C as Ascorbyl Palmitate will not upse stomach) 

Lecithin caps (if allergic to soy, take egg-yolk lecithin) at least 600 mg daily


Nuero-Mag (Life Extension brand at Vit Shoppe), 3 caps (2000 mg daily),

     with or without food, calms the brain (THIS IS THE RARE PRODUCT


Magnesium (Now brand, 400 mg, 2 at bed to calm the body (if causes loose

     bowels, take only one; if generally constipated, take 3 caps), also protrcts



Vinprocitine 1 pill of 10 mg daily with food for healthy brain (Vit Shoppe brand

Omega 3 (Fish oil 1,200 mg daily)


POTATO WITH SKIN (is not a simple carb anymore, it becomes a complex carb in the oven), baked and use grapeseed oil

    (Pompeian from Sprouts in tastiest) or butter; eat sevaral times a

    day and to help relax for a healthy nite of sleep.  Avoid idiots recommending you to not drive to the drink, like dennis kenmore, con man @ High Gain Project in Santa Monica.


  See below:


Potatoes, Not Prozac (1999)

By Kathleen DesMaisons

In Potatoes [symbolizing complex carbohydrates], Not Prozac [symbolizing drugs & alcohol], Dr. DesMaisons makes her clear convincing case that persons who fear that they are self-indulgent, undisciplined, or lazy, may be in reality among the billions of people who are “sugar sensitive”.

Many people who suffer from sugar sensitivity don’t even know it; they continue to consume large quantities of sweets, breads, cookies, cakes pasta, alcohol or drugs.

These products trigger feelings of exhaustion and low self-esteem because their biochemical impact makes sugar-sensitive people crave these unhealthy products even more.

This vicious circle of ever deepening cravings can continue for years, leaving sufferers addicted to being overweight, fatigued, depressed, and lost in alcohol or drug binges.

The Kathleen DesMaisons approach to preventing these unhealthy addictions involves preventing the imbalance of 3 factors:

1. volatile blood sugar level(shifting between low and high levels caused by unhealthy reaction to “simple carbohydrates,” which need to be replaced by “complex carbohydrates,” such as potatoes baked in their own skin;

2. low serotonin level (brain chemicals) that needs to be raised to stop impulsive addictive behavior and encourage feelings of calm confidence, well-being, self-esteem, and happiness;

3. low beta endorphins (the strongest of four endorphin brain chemicals) that need to be raised to counter addictive impulses of temporary euphoria that soon shift to exhaustion, depression, and often angry rants/tears, as well as feelings of failure and social isolation. Unhealthy levels of endorphins in the brain may be changed only seemingly for the “better” by taking sugar and a number of drugs such as alcohol, anabolic steroids, heroin and other opiates.

     Do not engage in dangerous sugar and drug “highs” that result in physical and psychological “lows” caused by damaging biochemical reactions to body and mind.


The raising of beta endorphins releases natural pain killers, ends feelings of shyness, and creates feelings of “connectedness” and self-esteem, as well as “healthy excitement” about life in general.

Further, according to http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter260/index.htm :

endorphins are most heavily released in the human body during or in moments of great pain or stressful events….. Also endorphins may be triggered by the consumption of certain foods, such as chili peppers, “which have been utilized in various kinds of medical treatments, especially as part of therapy for chronic pain, and are sometimes considered an aphrodisiac”.

Certain kinds of physical activity have been associated with endorphin [release] in recent years as well. Undergoing massage therapy or acupuncture, for example, is believed to stimulate endorphin release, and the natural painkillers may be responsible for the euphoric feelings known as ‘runner’s high’ and ‘adrenaline rush.’”

Balancing these 3 factors is crucial to restore and maintain a healthy mind and body.

Sucking on cinnamon toothpicks helps a lot, gives you the endorphines.





Copyrighted ©2014 OLGA M LAZIN ANDREI


Price: In € 12

USA$ 9


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University of California Los Angeles Grants for International Students: The Go Campus program


University of California Los Angeles Grants for International Students: The Go Campus program.

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